Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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