can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
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