Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Bang-toberfest begins!!
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
