brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
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You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
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After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
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