I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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