1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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