In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
