I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
