he wants to bone in the snuggie
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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