his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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