At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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