i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
