why im i the only drunk person in the library?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
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just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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