you turned your livingroom into a bong?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
