No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
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I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
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I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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