I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
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