i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
