she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
