you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
