it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
You are the jesus of drinking
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
