The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
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just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
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Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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