Pappa wants mamma naked
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
So much Jack, so little girl.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
