well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize