I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
