the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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