if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize