Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize