i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
