drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize