I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
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