she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
