it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
