I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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