Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
