If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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