I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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