...so i touched it.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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