Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize