just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
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