i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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