Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize
