I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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