dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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