I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize