Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Sorry my hands just texted you
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
