Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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