just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
this hospital has no fireball
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize