Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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