worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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