either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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