i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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