I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
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