do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Randomize
