You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
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As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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