Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize