Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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