I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
