Pappa wants mamma naked
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
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