Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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