she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
